You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 Bulate Clan on Thu Nov 06, 2014 2:24 am

Haru Soseiji

avatar

Genin
Symbol:


Clan: Bulate

Kekkei Genkai: Mushi no Kyosei Shukushu
Symbiotic Host of Insects

Elements: -

Specialization: Medical(main) Or Ninjutsu(main)[Can only reap the benefits of one)

Location: Sunagakure

Clan History: History wise, there is little to say of this clan. They have lived in Sunagakure for the last several years since the second ninja war. They have little to say for their history, as they have a tendency to simply focus forward on the future, and hold no records of their heritage.

Kekkei Genkai Description:: This is the name of the technique passed from one generation to the next. Upon birth, a member of this clan has their body introduced and subjected to a special type of worms called the Kyosei Vu~orumusu o Nikudzuke, but are affectionately called the Kyoni by the members of the clan to shorten their name. These worms breed and exist in the user's body, eating away at dead tissue, while promoting generation of new tissue at an accelerated rate. While they are called "worms" they are actually a breed of flesh eating chakra sowing snakes that are seemingly blind and deaf, but react to chakra signals from the users, and react to sounds. These worms are capable of forming directly from a user's skin after the age of seven, as a result of their skin and the snakes becoming one, their eggs and children slithering in and as their skin. This has caused a sense of phobia against these members, as their skin is often described as "slimy" but is in fact as smooth as a snakes, and has no slime at all. In addition, a user is capable of many things with these worms. As a ninjutsu specialist, they are capable of using these worms to enhance their durability to the elements they themselves have. As a Medical practitioner though, a member of this clan finds true strength, as they can replicate their worms fo quickly, they can toss them at enemies to have the worms devour them, and are even capable of using the worms to create an analog copy of themselves. While the worms of the user range from 2 centimeters to three feet, no larger than this exist in the body, but do exist as summons exclusive to this clan(will be made at a later date)

Medical Bonus: Those that take medical as their main slot gain a perk, in that they can sanitize and heal wounds faster and more efficiently than a normal medic as the worms eat and replace their target's flesh, making their jutsu cast with one less post cast time.

Ninjutsu Bonus: Are able to use create any eye or mouth or hand based ninjutsu from any part of their body using the worms as a catalyst.

Drawbacks: Members of this clan Must take Hesitant( Element) as their body make up is different, and does not accept the variety a normal body can. Members of this Clan cannot start with Fire as one of their elements, but can learn is for double the normal training cost when applicable. Members of this clan must choose EITHER Medical or Ninjutsu, they cannot have both, it confuses the worms.

Members: -

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:

Name: Symbiotic Host Regeneration
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: E-S(Plus an innate 10 chakra at each rank because the worms are greedy)
Type: Supplementary
Element: -
Range: Self
Specialty: Medical Ninjutsu(Main)
Duration: Constant(unless the user supress the effect)
Cooldown: -
Description:A member of this clan has the spectaular gift given to them by the flesh worms that inhabit and crawl in and about their body. These worms will heal and regenrate the host if they become damaged too badly, and will do it of their own volition, healing small knicks and scratches for free, while cuts and bruises are recovered as a D rank 10 chakra.  At C rank amount of chakra, a member of this clan could have a finger replaced and regenrated by the worms. At B rank of chakra, the user is capable of relpacing an entire hand or foot. For an A rank of chakra, the host is capable of replacing an entire limb, and finally at S rank, the user is able to repair and replace vital organs(can repair, but not replace the brain however). This jutsu autocasts itself so long as the user does not supress the effects. This jutsu is only available to the Medical Jutsu mains of the clan, as their chakra produces more flesh worms more quickly than the ninjutsu users.(S rank cost is 35 chakra, and limb/ regenration from the A rank variation MUST BE DONE IN THAT TOPIC, or the worms lose their memory of what that limb is like, as they have short life spans.In addition Limb regeneration takes 2 posts to complete, and costs 15 chakra per post tyo do fluidly, but if interrupted, but still tne in the topic, they can pay the A rank about again to complete it if it had one post left, or two more A rank amounts if they barely started the regeneration process.)

Note: This jutsu apart from healing minor scratches, costs an additional 10 chakra to use in comparison to a normal medical jutsu due to it's complexity, and the worms have to be guided to properly make the skin look like your own. Different limbs have different levels of complexity to the worms to regenrate. Half a leg is 15 chakra more than normal, a full leg is 20 more chakra. A half an arm costs 15 chakra by itself, but the entire arm if somehow removed takes 35 more chakra than normal to replace. Finally, if the user loses part of their torso and is still somehow alive, they must pay 20 + the cost of any limbs they are missing.



Name: Tunneler's Obsession
Canon/Custom:Custom
Rank: D Rank
Type: Defensive, Offensive, Supplementary
Element:(Doton Optional)
Range:May burrow a max of 20 meters
Specialty:Ninjutsu(Main)
Duration: 10 chakra per round in use
Cooldown: -
Description:A ninjutsu main of the clan is capable of burrowing using the worms in their skin to eat and process the dirt through, allowing them to quickly vanish into the earth. If the user has doton, they are capable of going through stones and concrete. However, as the medical worms of the Medical main users are too weak to sustain the chakra the way the Ninjutsu worms can, they cannot perform this jutsu


Name: Devouring Swarm
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C
Type: Offensive
Element: -
Range:Melee
Specialty:Medical Jutsu
Duration: On contact, worms only continue their assault for one round
Cooldown: 3 rounds
Description:Each time a user and a registered enemy of the worms, the worms will quickly leave the user's skin, and begin to attack their enemy and begin devouring their skin.A Medical Jutu main takes this jutsu to a special level of horror, the seven worms fusing with the enemy's flesh, and devouring them from the inside out, starting where they attached. These worms can be flushed from the system by the victim by paying five chakra for each worm to flush the worm from the body. Worms will only travel down to the lowest layer of skin and start eating, as they are trained not to eat organs. They will only eat the flesh itself and expose the blood vessels and muscle where they are at, and will retreat from the victim after one round.



Last edited by Haru Onii-kun on Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:19 am; edited 9 times in total

2 Re: Bulate Clan on Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:02 pm

Tame

avatar

S-rank
State that clansmen can only reap the benefits of one of the specializations.

Speaking of which, I'm gonna say no to the Ninjutsu benefit; it's simply too powerful. I've seen it allowed for say, B-rank jutsu (even then with an increased chakra cost)....But an S-rank offensive shield technique is way too powerful for a Genin to be throwing around. Even at 1 post, it's kind of a get-out-of-jail-free card for anything you might encounter.

Symbiotic Host Regeneration: If it's constant and automatic, it should cost more than regular medical ninjutsu that need to be activated; it should also cost more chakra to regenerate limbs (since it is very difficult to do so, normally). I would like the limb/appendage regeneration to be done within the thread, rather than in another one after the appendage is cut off.

Devouring Swarm: This isn't gonna work well, I'm afraid. The jutsu changes entirely depending on the specialization, and thus can't be listed as one jutsu.

Tunneler's Obsession: Under Elements, say 'Doton Optional'. You need to give a max range you can tunnel each post.

Ultimate Defense Barrier Cocoon: Space this out, please. It's rather daunting to read when it's in a large block like it is.


____

:Ninja Info Card:

~The Whimsical Sniper~
Profile||Armory||Jutsu
Marks Hunted:
||0D|0C|0B|0A|0S|1SS||

3 Re: Bulate Clan on Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:00 am

Haru Soseiji

avatar

Genin
All edited as requested :)

4 Re: Bulate Clan on Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:50 am

Tame

avatar

S-rank
Clans are not allowed to give passive +1s to the effectiveness of any jutsu, even noncombative ones. You'll need to change your Medical perk.

Symbiotic Host Regeneration: You did correct the limb stipulation (within the thread), and I thank you for that. However, again; if you want your worms to be able to automatically heal you without input, it will cost more chakra per heal (at least 10 for D-C, and at least 15 for B-S). This assumes that they only actively heal when you are injured, and take up no extra chakra otherwise. (if this were the case, you could have a passive 5 or 10 chakra cost depending on the rank, and then pay normal chakra for each injury.)

Also, if you want to regrow a body part, you will need to use more chakra than normal to do so, as it simply isn't feasible for other medical ninjutsu (even the S-rank Mitotic Regeneration cannot). For regrowing, I would recommend at least 15-50 more, the actual cost depending on the regenerated body part.

Devouring Swarm: You're implying that this single jutsu...can kill someone (as you do not specify a time that they stop, or die). That is not alright for a C-rank; you need to specify how far each worm is able to burrow with one use of the jutsu, in accordance with the Jutsu Rules (found here). In addition, give this jutsu a definite duration and cooldown.

Burrower's Obsession: 20m is perfectly fine. <3 However, to not have a cooldown, your chakra cost must stay flat for each post you use it (so 10 chakra each post, not just 10 to activate and 5 each thereafter).

Ultimate Defense Barrier Cocoon: Let us break this down by element.

Spoiler:
Katon: Completely nullifies two elements, not sure about three (does your fire negate others'?), plus gives third-degree burns on contact, PLUS sucks people into the fire.

Suiton: Completely nullifies Katon, and gives a vague immunity to Hyouton. Lets you use Supernatural Walking Practice for free while in use.

Raiton: Completely nullifies physical attacks by jolting would-be attackers with electricity that deals 2nd degree burns and a 1-post stun (what you mean by 'stun', I don't know).

Doton: Completely nullifies apparently almost if not everything else, and to boot you can add the offensive power of other elements to make up for this one's lack thereof.

Fuuton: Completely nullifies all elemental attacks in exchange for possibly becoming a better target for physical attacks, to which you do not give any explanation (such as a boost to power, speed, accuracy). In addition, you give a loophole that lets it be used with Doton, the strongest barrier to physical attacks, letting you become practically invincible.

Pure Chakra: Completely nullifies Genjutsu and other mental-energy attacks. On top of that, gives your jutsu a huge, huge boost for an inordinate amount of chakra. I would say at most you can boost a jutsu 1 rank for 20 chakra.

Re-orient this defensive technique to be in line with the jutsu rules; I would actually prefer if this jutsu stayed with the range being your body, the 35m dome of earth doesn't exactly gel with the worms theme here.

First off, I don't like the Doton version's ability to combine with other types. That just treads into the realm of uber-invincibility.

Second, despite guarding against fewer types of jutsu, each variant of this technique should still have a maximum number of techniques the defense can take before it is nullified and the jutsu breaks. This can be higher in number than normal (I don't want to say rank, because SS-ranks are supposed to be that gosh-darn powerful), but still. Making it essentially able to take indefinite attacks for 6 posts isn't quiiite fair to everyone else.

Also, you should change Genin to Tokujou in the Range part.

Finally, referencing the second part; you can either choose to add more defense, or choose to keep your auxiliary effects, OR add more drawbacks to each variant of the jutsu to keep both the extra defense and the effects.


____

:Ninja Info Card:

~The Whimsical Sniper~
Profile||Armory||Jutsu
Marks Hunted:
||0D|0C|0B|0A|0S|1SS||

5 Re: Bulate Clan on Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:58 am

Haru Soseiji

avatar

Genin
Just for record, edits made :3

6 Re: Bulate Clan on Sat Nov 08, 2014 6:48 am

Tame

avatar

S-rank
Make Ultimate Defense Barrier Cocoon cost more chakra for Toku-jou. 10-20 chakra will do.

Medical: 25%....this might be OK for any healing jutsu with a duration as a multiple of four. Not sure how this should be handled.

Simply go to the Summons Guidelines, and find the species template. Use it to create a clan-locked Summoning species.

Drawbacks are good, though I'd like to see one more minor one.

Symbiotic Host Regeneration: Looking better, but I want the basic healing costs upped as well (10 to 15, as stated in the previous post) due to it being automatic, instant, and requiring no input.

Tunneler's Obsesson: Awesome job.

Devouring Swarm: How big of a wound would each worm eat out? Do this and it's good.

Ultimate Defense Barrier Cocoon: I've just realized.....all of these varients have very, very radically different effects. It's...rather difficult to call all of them the same jutsu, to any degree. Please make each element's ability more similitous, otherwise, I don't think I can approve this. (For example, I don't think Genjutsu defense is at all the same as physical or elemental defenses.)


____

:Ninja Info Card:

~The Whimsical Sniper~
Profile||Armory||Jutsu
Marks Hunted:
||0D|0C|0B|0A|0S|1SS||

7 Re: Bulate Clan on Sat Nov 08, 2014 5:05 pm

Haru Soseiji

avatar

Genin
Will add summons at a later date
Made it where they could never have both medical and ninjutsu
Added cost of Symbiotic and Ultimate Cocoon
Each worm only eats the skin, leaving muscle tissue alone, as stated, so they will eat enough to expose the muscle on the limb they are placed on
As for the diversity, what I did with it is the worms use your chakra to exagerate their effects as a barrier, while the pure chakra barrier, they exaggerate a shell of Yang chakra, thus why the genjutsu avoidance, as the yang chakra mixes with any yin chakra thrown at them and negates it.

8 Re: Bulate Clan on Mon Nov 17, 2014 8:55 am

Tame

avatar

S-rank
The 25% faster perplexes me. xD I don't know how we would apply this. You should give an example or give a flat reduction (like 1 post).

I'd prefer another drawback.

Really, the only thing holding this back is Ultimate Defense Barrier Cocoon.

Katon: Too offensive for my tastes. It sucks people into 3rd-degree burns. (You need to say how far away they can get sucked in from, and how fast.)

Suiton: Alright, Katon immunity. 3 times longer to freeze = able to be frozen. Quantify this in jutsu. Free supernatural walking practice is iffy for this chakra cost. If we're really talking about pure water, Raiton would also be reduced in effectiveness.

Raiton: 2nd-degree burns to anyone who tries to make contact, and prevents such contact from being successful, cancelling all unaided Taijutsu and Bukijutsu used on you. You still need to define a stun.

Doton: Alright, so can ignore all physical sources of damage. What does this mean? Does 'physical' not include nonphysical attacks like Katon?

Fuuton: Super-ultra-invincible shield for everything but physical attacks.

I'm going to say no to advanced elements; they can create their own jutsu if it comes to that somehow.

For all applications: You really need to quantify how many jutsu you can block with this technique. Inexhaustible defense is not okay, especially since you can simultaneously use nonconflicting elements to block more; it would be more considerable if you could only, say, block one element or specialization.

In addition, I'd like to see weaknesses more unique to each element as opposed to one large one (the blanket afterburn, for the most part, becomes less of a problem at Tokujou, when you can use a third element). I still am not a fan of the Genjutsu/spirit summon blocking, as blocking specializations doesn't fit in well with an otherwise completely element-oriented technique.


____

:Ninja Info Card:

~The Whimsical Sniper~
Profile||Armory||Jutsu
Marks Hunted:
||0D|0C|0B|0A|0S|1SS||

9 Re: Bulate Clan on Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:19 am

Haru Soseiji

avatar

Genin
Edited, removed the jutsu, changed the ninjutsu bonus

10 Re: Bulate Clan on Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:52 am

Tame

avatar

S-rank
Dear me. Sorry for the wait.

Approved.


____

:Ninja Info Card:

~The Whimsical Sniper~
Profile||Armory||Jutsu
Marks Hunted:
||0D|0C|0B|0A|0S|1SS||

Sponsored content



View previous topic View next topic Back to top Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum

Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden belong to © Masashi Kishimoto.