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1 Yūryō on Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:01 pm

Razan

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Genin
Symbol:

Clan: Yūryō

Kekkei Genkai: Jinton - Dust Release † †

Elements: Futon, Doton, Katon, Jinton

Specialization: Ninjutsu

Location: Iwagakure

Clan History: This clan was recently formed, and doesn't have a lot of history behind it. The art of the Jinton techniques was supposedly lost in history, with the death of the Third Tsuchikage. However, this clan survived. Without anyone knowing, not even the ANBU, DNA and scrolls containing the knowledge of the Dust Release techniques were stolen from the tomb of the Third Tsuchikage. It turned out that the Third Tsuchikage had ordered the knowledge to be wrote down, to preserve his legacy, and that of the Second Tsuchikage. Around the time of the theft, several pregnant mothers were kidnapped from their homes in Iwagakure, by a mysterious force of shinobi. In an unknown location, far from any form of civilisation, experimentation was done on the unborn children, usually resulting in the death of the mothers and the child. Only ten children survived out of the twenty three, however each one of these children had the acquired gene and capability to use the Dust Release. Each of these children were raised in a laboratory setting. Yet each of them showed little progress over the span of several months. One of the researchers concluded that their chakra had been thrown off balance by the horrors of their birth and cruel upbringing. Labelled a failed experiment, they were abandoned to die in the facility.

These children survived however, using the abandoned scrolls and the facility to grow and prosper. Under their own rule and tutelage, they managed to successfully use the ancient Jinton techniques. The ten children, five of each gender, ended up starting families together, resulting in the birth of the clan. The name of their clan meant Prime, obviously referring to their signature jutsu and the primal way in which they had been brought up. The families, now much older, made their way back to the city of the collective, pseudo ancestor. There the roots of the clan grew into the moderately sized clan we see today.

Kekkei Tōta Description: Members of the Yūryō clan are able to utilize jinton (dust release), an advanced element created through simultaneous use of doton, futon and katon. Most techniques of this nature initially form as a small three-dimensional object (e.g. a cube, a cone, etc.) composed of jinton nature chakra that forms between the user's hands. When the technique is released, the form is launched and proceeds to expand and engulf its target. Finally, the core detonates, attempting to dismantle anything inside the shape's boundaries on a molecular level, turning it to into dust. Hence the name: Dust Release.

The shape and the boundaries of the technique are formed from the combination of doton and futon natured chakra, while the disintegrating ability is achieved by precisely, on an atomic level, directing katon's destructive and explosive properties by using futon. It should be noted, however, that techniques below S rank cannot yet fully disintegrate other people, but may dismantle some of the molecules on the outside in the form of lacerations, causing the appropriate level of tissue damage.

Jinton techniques, being comprised of futon, doton and katon, struggle with colliding against raiton techniques, since the dismantling at a molecular level doesn't do much †against electricity, but excel at dealing with suiton techniques as they can turn them into thin air. Because of this, raiton techniques get +1 rank in effectiveness against jinton, while suiton ones get -1 rank in effectiveness.

One's Jinton rank depends on the ranks of its parent elements: futon, doton and katon. It automatically assumes the lowest rank of those three, so ranking up jinton requires ranking up all other elements, all of which start at D rank, and are all treated as secondary elements in terms of required word-counts for training.

Drawbacks:

  • Must take Hesitant(Specialization). It canít be balanced.
  • Genjutsu used against them gets a +1 rank in effectiveness. Also, members canít take the specialization.
  • Jinton isnít something easily learn, and because of this, it takes member longer time to train it up. Increase word count for all elements training by 15%
  • Being mostly long to mid range fighters, members canít handle close quarter combat, especially Bukijutsu. Because of this, Bukijutsu gets a +1 rank in effectiveness against them.



Members: Yūryō, Ashi

Kekkei Genkai Jutsu:
Minor Detachment Technique:

Name: 塵遁・軽微剥離の術 Jinton: Keibi Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Minor Detachment Technique)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: C
Type: Offensive
Element: Jinton
Range: 25m
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 4 Posts
Description: The technique costs 20 chakra, and is essentially a much less powerful version of the "Detachment of the Primitive World" technique. The user forms a small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a cone, etc.) between the palms of their hands. The shape can then be launched in a straight line towards a target location within 25m at the speed of 20m/s and upon reaching it, will almost instantly expand to full size, being no more than 1m across in any given dimension, not big enough to engulf an entire person. After expanding, the centre of the shape will emit a bright blast, and anything found inside it will have some of the molecules on the outside disintegrated in the form of multiple lacerations, up to half an inch deep and wide. An average of 20 of these would be formed on a single person caught within the blast.
Code:

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] 塵遁・軽微剥離の術 Jinton: Keibi Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Minor Detachment Technique)
[b]Canon/Custom:[/b] Custom
[b]Rank:[/b] C
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Element:[/b] Jinton
[b]Range:[/b] 25m
[b]Specialty:[/b] Ninjutsu
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cooldown:[/b] 4 Posts
[b]Description:[/b] The technique costs 20 chakra, and is essentially a much less powerful version of the "Detachment of the Primitive World" technique. The user forms a small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a cone, etc.) between the palms of their hands. The shape can then be launched in a straight line towards a target location within 25m at the speed of 20m/s and upon reaching it, will almost instantly expand to full size, being no more than 1m across in any given dimension, not big enough to engulf an entire person. After expanding, the centre of the shape will emit a bright blast, and anything found inside it will have some of the molecules on the outside disintegrated in the form of multiple lacerations, up to half an inch deep and wide. An average of 20 of these would be formed on a single person caught within the blast.

Heaven's Feel Technique:

Name: 塵遁・天の感じるの術 Jinton: Ten No Kanjiru no Jutsu (Dust Release: Heaven's Feel Technique)
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: S
Type: Defensive
Element: Jinton
Range: 35m(Radius)
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Maintainable(10 chakra per post)
Cooldown: Double duration + 2
Description: The technique initially costs 30 chakra. The user forms a †small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a pyramid etc.) between the palms of their hands. Moving at 40m/s the three dimensional shape expands with the practitioner in the center, reaching full size almost immediately, which is up to 35m in any direction. The walls of the technique solidifies, forming a powerful see-through barrier able to withstands impacts of 3 A rank, 2 S rank, or 1 SS rank jutsu before breaking. The barrier doesnít restrict the userís movement, therefore, they can move around freely if necessary. Unlike other Jinton techniques, this one has no offensive presence whatsoever. The user may create small holes in the barrier at will, through which people can enter or leave without canceling the entire technique. †The user is capable of moving freely within the barrier.
Code:

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] 塵遁・天の感じるの術 Jinton: Ten No Kanjiru no Jutsu (Dust Release: Heaven's Feel Technique)
[b]Canon/Custom:[/b] Custom
[b]Rank:[/b] S
[b]Type:[/b] Defensive
[b]Element:[/b] Jinton
[b]Range:[/b] 35m(Radius)
[b]Specialty:[/b] Ninjutsu
[b]Duration:[/b] Maintainable(10 chakra per post)
[b]Cooldown:[/b] Double duration + 2
[b]Description:[/b] The technique initially costs 30 chakra. The user forms a †small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a pyramid etc.) between the palms of their hands. Moving at 40m/s †the three dimensional shape expands with the practitioner in the center, reaching full size almost immediately, which is up to 35m in any direction. The walls of the technique solidifies, forming a powerful see-through barrier able to withstands impacts of 3 A rank, 2 S rank, or 1 SS rank jutsu before breaking. The barrier doesnít restrict the userís movement, therefore, they can move around freely if necessary. Unlike other Jinton techniques, this one has no offensive presence whatsoever. The user may create small holes in the barrier at will, through which people can enter or leave without canceling the entire technique. †The user is capable of moving freely within the barrier.
Detachment of the Primitive World:

Name: 塵遁・原界剥離の術 Jinton: Genkai Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World)
Canon/Custom: Canon
Rank: S
Type: Offensive
Element: Jinton
Range: 90m
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: Eight posts
Description: The technique costs 55 chakra. The user forms a small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a cone, etc.) between the palms of their hands. The shape can then be launched in a straight line towards a target location within 90m at the speed of 70m/s and upon reaching it, will almost instantly expand to full size at speeds of 45m/s being no more than 40m across in any given dimension. Once the structure expands, its boundaries solidify, and from this point on can't be escapen from unless shattered from the outside by another technique of at least S ranked strength (A rank for raiton, SS rank for suiton). Otherwise, its core will detonate, and with the walls of the structure restricting the blast radius, everything inside of the structure will be disintegrated on a molecular level and pulverized into minute particles of dust in a bright flash.
Code:

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] 塵遁・原界剥離の術 Jinton: Genkai Hakuri no Jutsu (Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World)
[b]Canon/Custom:[/b] Canon
[b]Rank:[/b] S
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Element:[/b] Jinton
[b]Range:[/b] 90m
[b]Specialty:[/b] Ninjutsu
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cooldown:[/b] Eight posts
[b]Description:[/b] †The technique costs 55 chakra. The user forms a small Jinton three-dimensional shape (e.g. a cube, a sphere, a cone, etc.) between the palms of their hands. The shape can then be launched in a straight line towards a target location within 90m at the speed of 70m/s and upon reaching it, will almost instantly expand to full size at speeds of 45m/s being no more than 40m across in any given dimension. Once the structure expands, its boundaries solidify, and from this point on can't be escapen from unless shattered from the outside by another technique of at least S ranked strength (A rank for raiton, SS rank for suiton). Otherwise, its core will detonate, and with the walls of the structure restricting the blast radius, everything inside of the structure will be disintegrated on a molecular level and pulverized into minute particles of dust in a bright flash.


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Doton: S | Fuuton: C
Ninjutsu: S | Bukijutsu(Bojutsu): C |
[Missions] D: 0 | C: 0 | B: 0 | A: 0 | S: 0 | SS: 0

Character†| Jutsu | Locker|†Stats
Str: D†- 0 | Spe:†D - 0 | End: C†- 1 *(Factors in a +2) | Perc.:†D - 0 | Rea: D†- 3

2 Re: Yūryō on Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:03 pm

Razan

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Genin
Hope it's okay that I finished(tried to anyway) the clan Ashi was working before he went inactive. I think I addressed most of the edits from the previous thread.


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Doton: S | Fuuton: C
Ninjutsu: S | Bukijutsu(Bojutsu): C |
[Missions] D: 0 | C: 0 | B: 0 | A: 0 | S: 0 | SS: 0

Character†| Jutsu | Locker|†Stats
Str: D†- 0 | Spe:†D - 0 | End: C†- 1 *(Factors in a +2) | Perc.:†D - 0 | Rea: D†- 3

3 Re: Yūryō on Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:42 am

Ayakashi

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Okay Razan, disclaimer first:

As both a canon clan, AND an advanced release clan AND as a banned element, it should go without saying that I am going to be very hard on this clan and it is going to need to be of impeccable quality to be approved.

That being said, lets do this!

General:
I would like a longer clan history, little things like traditions, philosophies etc would add a great amount to the clan.

KKG:
This is actually rather good, you describe how the element is formed very well and describe its limitations. Jintons weakness to Raiton should be in the drawbacks~

Drawbacks:

Please remove the genjutsu thing, i don't think its needed, also, 20% should be the amount for word increase, working in 5%'s becomes a weight on the mods.

Jutsu:

As there are only 2 canon jutsu for this clan, if it would not be too much trouble i would like BOTH of them to be present in this clan.

1/ I feel like the damage of this technique doesn't quite make sense... why would there only be a few deep lacerations for something that you're stuck in the middle of? My suggestion would be to lower the depth to something like, 1/8th of an inch, but i would just say that the lacerations occur rapidly and sporadically over all the area within the jutsu. That goes for all other low ranking techniques of Jinton.
2/ im not comfortable with this line "Moving at 40m/s the three dimensional shape expands with the practitioner in the center, reaching full size almost immediately, which is up to 35m in any direction" Meaning that without speed, it expands to 35m in diameter. I'd like that to just be included in the speed, or, lower the speed to keep the instant expansion.
3/ May only have one S rank technique on the clan, sorry. So either reduce the defense barrier to A rank or remove this, (though i would prefer you keep this as it's canon.) The stats on the technique look fine, i would like it to be able to be broken from the inside though, even if it requires 2 S rank techniques. (one, then another to shatter through.)


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