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1 heyova clan (done) on Sat Nov 12, 2016 4:54 am

yuaito heyova

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Genin
[center]Symbol:
Clan Name: heyova
Location: the leaf village
Specialization: fujinjustu
Elements: fire,water,wind



Clan History:
The clan started out as a traveling family of fuinjutsu users they moved all around the land of fire. going form place to place. And offering there skills to any village in need of skilled seal users. villages would hire them out during times of war ad offer them temporary homes during times of peace. after traveling moving form place to place they settled in the leaf village where they created there own version of the curse mark justu known as the awakening curse jutsu.
the clan's darkest day happened when one of their own betrayed them. After sealing away her mother's hand saku yuaitos younger sister then murdered her sister's girlfriend imprisoned the clans conual and the betrayed the leaf village before going rogue and leaving the village to form her own ninja group
Members: gatyu, satyto, atya, saku, yuaito



Kekkei Genkai Name: awakening curse mark justu 
Kekkei Genkai Description: awaking is a altered version of the curse mark jutsu due to its altered nature. It has more then two stages it currently is known to have only three stages.  the kkg is  altered version of the original curse mark used on tayuya which is why first and second state form of the seal look like they did before being altered to gain the third stage while the third stage grates the user even more enhanced strength and speed it also add wings and a tail to the appearance making the user look even more demonic this altered version comes form the clan's own fuinjustu abilties
Drawbacks: they can't use sage mode, trid stage can lead to death " />



Last edited by yuaito heyova on Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:06 pm; edited 4 times in total

2 Re: heyova clan (done) on Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:35 pm

Sol

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Genin
Hiya, I'm Zeke! I appreciate you sticking with Saga for so long!

I'm going to need a few things on this clan application.

First, please use the [img] [ /img] tags (remove the space) to turn the link for your symbol into an actual image.

Second, I'll need you to expand on your history. You bring recent events to light, especially those surrounding your character, but what about anything earlier? How they formed a group that came to be known as a 'clan' as well as how they developed their Kekkei Genkai are good starting points for your history. I'm not looking for a ton of content, of course, but at least something detailed enough to let people know where they came from.

I'm assuming this from your members' given names; please correct me if I'm wrong. There is, at the current time, no hard evidence that Mitarashi Anko and Tayuya of the North Gate are part of this clan, as they were both branded with a Cursed Seal by Orochimaru.

Is it supposed to be spelled 'awakining', or do you mean 'Awakening'?

Your Kekkei Genkai is the biggest part I need details on. The Cursed Seals Orochimaru used were based on an enzyme produced by Jūgo and members of his own clan, which have a writeup detailed in the Scattered section's stickies. If this is modified, you're going to state how it is different from that ability, otherwise I can't rightfully approve it. Of course, you will need to state how the use of this Cursed Seal affects the Heyova clan member. Please remember: If your clan, jutsu, or whatever else does not say you can do something, you can't do it. As it stands, I don't know anything about what this Cursed Seal does, so it doesn't do anything.

You may remove the bit about not being able to be transferred; it is almost universal on Saga that you cannot transfer clan abilities, anyhow. (You have to state that you can, otherwise you can't.)

I will touch on your drawbacks more after your Kekkei Genkai is expanded upon; however, please clarify whether the clan member using Sage Mode can lead to death, or the Curse Mark can lead to death, and another weakness is Sage Mode. In either case, how does it lead to death?


____


Arts 🙪 Arsenal 🙪 Ascent 🙪 Ability 🙪 Acceptance

3 Re: heyova clan (done) on Thu Mar 23, 2017 11:02 pm

yuaito heyova

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Genin
sage mode doesnt lead to death they can't learn sage mode at all the cursed seall's 3rd stage leads to death if pushed to far

4 Re: heyova clan (done) on Thu Mar 23, 2017 11:14 pm

yuaito heyova

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Genin
also the clan is short of AU

5 Re: heyova clan (done) on Fri Mar 24, 2017 1:39 pm

Sol

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Genin
For reference, please post in the Clan Modding Requests when you finish making requested changes to your clan, either in place of or in addition to bumping the thread. If this was not the most recent post in the section, you would have been skipped. This is a courtesy.

Please refrain from double-posting. The 'edit' button is at the bottom of each of your posts.

You have not made the requested history edits. Please refer to my first post for details.

-

Alright, that drawback bit was cleared up. Now, in what manner are they weak to Sage Mode? Do their jutsu become weak to it? Are they weak to Sage Arts? Things like that.

Is there a certain amount of time, or a special condition under which you might die in Third Stage? As it stands, it's too vague to not be manipulated one way or the other.

-

As far as I am aware, Saga does not operate via AU rules. There are established canon Kekkei Genkai that we do not permit custom clans to infringe upon.

If you can provide a reasonable explanation as to how the Juugo clan's 'Sage Transformation' got altered, or provide an altogether different source for the Cursed Seal, we can work this out. I apologize if this seems intolerant, I simply am not aware of any rule that allows members to change Kekkei Genkai to their liking and make them a different clan.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.


____


Arts 🙪 Arsenal 🙪 Ascent 🙪 Ability 🙪 Acceptance

6 Re: heyova clan (done) on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:27 pm

yuaito heyova

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Genin
i am thinking of just having the clan make there own verison of the cursed seal all toghter they do use sealing justu anyway

7 Re: heyova clan (done) on Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:07 pm

yuaito heyova

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Genin
bump

8 Re: heyova clan (done) on Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:05 pm

Kisei

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C-Rank
Hiya there, it's your friendly neighbor Kisei dropping in with this segment of clan modding. Pardon the wait.


KKG:



  • "awaking is a altered version of the curse mark jutsu due to its altered nature. It has more then two stages it currently is known to have only three stages.  the kkg is  altered version of the original curse mark used on tayuya which is why first and second state form of the seal look like they did before being altered to gain the third stage while the third stage grates the user even more enhanced strength and speed it also add wings and a tail to the appearance making the user look even more demonic this altered version comes form the clan's own fuinjustu abilties"


So you mention the third state grants 'even more enhanced strength and speed' to the user, however you don't mention an quantitative or numerical values or stat increases/decreases to support this with. So we'll be having a hard time known how these stage affect you besides appearance. While on the subject of appearances, what function do these wings and tail have? Can the user fly with these wings? Any restrictions on height, speed, duration (in posts)? Additionally how does one enter any of these states, (as that isn't mentioned much in this description)?


App in general:


  • You have some broken coding at the very top.
  • Details, mostly on what your kekkei genkai does to enhance yourself since you're a bit vague on that. 
  • I'm nitpicking a bit here, but could you also clean up the app? Lots of unpunctuated words and hard to follow sentences. Though some of that is also due to vague detail.



Also just as a suggestion: Since the cursed seal is mainly fluff you could join the Jugo clan and simply keep the history as part of your family's clan line, the KKG itself could also be done with fuinjutsu as well as their KKG since it simply enhances strength and speed.


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