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1 Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Thu Jun 01, 2017 7:29 pm

Julius V

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Genin


Clan Name: Suzuki (Formerly: Kaneko)
Location: Scattered.
Specialization: N/A
Elements: 



  •  Raiton
  •  Katon
  •  Suiton OR  Fuuton 
  •  Kesshōton


Clan History: Work In progress
Members: Work In progress




Kekkei Genkai Name: Plasma Release~血漿遁, Kesshōton
Kekkei Genkai Description: Throughout many years the Suzuki clan was known as a clan powerful at commanding more than one element, however, never was there ever before a Shinobi that could utilize the fourth element despite all means and attempts. All clan members could utilize water, fire, and lightning, or, wind, fire, and lightning. However, there was a deeper meaning to this entrapped within the clansmen's genes. That was the ability to manipulate Plasma and generate it. 


Years would come and go and finally the ability to manipulate Plasma and control it was localized within all branches of the family and the clan was known to be one of the most powerful clans in the Ninja world. Wherever the clan's Shinobi appeared, great prowess and strength were shown.


Plasma Release~血漿遁, Kesshōton: Through the heating of water or manipulation of air, using electricity and fire to ionize gas, Plasma is produced. Plasma being the fourth state of matter is born when the atoms move at a speed so quick and violent it knocks away electrons from their orbits producing Plasma. 



  • Speed: Plasma as an element is faster than the average element by 10 meters a second at all ranks. Example:(Normal)50 M/S. (Plasma) 60 M/S.




  • Too Hot to handle: The people of this clan have a naturally hot body to resist heat from their own element and thus, they interact with burns with much more resilience. -1 degree to all burns received.




  • Way too hot to handle: Plasma's most defining feature is its incredible heat. It deals stronger burns. Example: Minor first-degree burns become minor second-degree burns. +1 to burns dealt by Plasma.




  • Ice-Melting Hot: Plasma is highly effective against the Ice element/water element and techniques that are cold. Interacting with them at a rank higher.


Drawbacks: 



  • Magnet Release: A natural enemy to Plasma and can disintegrate it from its power and as such the element interacts with Plasma at a rank higher. If the technique is higher than the Plasma by two ranks it completely passes through the Plasma technique and destroys it.





  • Conductor: Plasma is an incredible conductor of electricity. Lightning techniques that interact with Plasma regardless of the caster receive +1.





  • Ice element and other cold elements: Due to the high temperature of the clan given body, deal +1 damage to the user's body. 1st-degree frostbites become 2nd-degree frostbites





  • Plasma As an Element: As an element, Plasma is difficult to control and as such, defensive techniques, due to the nature of this element, cannot be created below A-Rank.





  • Elemental Training: All elements start at D-Rank and the Plasma element takes the rank of the lowest element. All elements can be trained up to SS-Rank, however, the Plasma element takes the rank of the lowest element.





  • Gene controlled: After character creation, the player may never un-train Suiton or Fuuton for the other. 




  • Elementally-focused-training: fourth specialization due to intense training focused on elements. Cannot take either one of the hesitant special characteristics either. As well as only learn their third Specialization at Jounin.




Overheating:


The element itself is incredibly powerful. The clansmen themselves cannot use this element freely, not without a "Cooldown." The clansmen can use this element up to a certain number of times before the cooldown period initiates. The cooldown initiates due to an overheat in the body due to the repetitive use of the Plasma release. In order to avoid overheating, players must not use a Plasma technique for one turn, which allows the user to use more Plasma techniques. If the user exceeds the limit and uses Plasma technique more than their limit; they overheat and enter the cooldown period. Each post without a plasma technique would reduce the plasma count by 2. Overheating occurs as soon as the player hits their limit of Plasma Jutsus.


Example: Using plasma techniques as a genin for three posts and on the fourth not using Plasma. The user can user will be reduce the plasma jutsu count by 2. However, if they use Plasma techniques four times in a row, they overheat and enter the cooldown period. 



  • Genin: can use 3 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





  • Chunin: can use 4 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





  • Special Jounin: can use 5 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





  • Jounin: can use 6 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





  • S-Rank: can use 7 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





  • SS-Rank: can use 8 plasma techniques before overheating. Overheating will cause them to be unable to use heat generating elements (lightning that causes burns, fire, or plasma) for 3 turns.





Warning: Overheating affects the user's body, heavily, and as such ice techniques will deal +2 damage.



Last edited by Julius V on Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:22 am; edited 2 times in total


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Pleasant meeting you is, Guest.

2 Re: Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:43 pm

N'Jobu

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Genin
You need a clan history

You need to work on the description for "Plasma takes the shape of its container when released with no container, it expands to ranges beyond those of normal elements. Plasma's range is higher by 5 meters, both radius and normal, at all ranks.". I think there is some missing punctuation in there. Also the 5 meter extension is fine for directional attacks but too much for radius attacks.

Clarify that burns received are -1 in rank in terms of severity

Given that this is an advanced release it will need to be of a bit higher quality than normal and will require admin approval.


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3 Re: Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Fri Jun 09, 2017 6:12 pm

Nozomi

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Pre-approved (By Ashes) Modding (Issei has other half):

To start with, Members section also needs to be filled out. (Purpose of the clan name change? Not really necessary to answer here, but might be relevant in the clan history)
The plasma overheating drawback is very easily avoided, as it’s a simple matter to utilize other jutsu for a post, even at genin rank. I’d either like it to have a harder time reseting the amount overheated (Like each post without a plasma technique would reduce the plasma count by 2, or by half the maximum cap, something in that ballpark), or cut down on the number of plasma techniques before it overheats the user in the first place.
Also, is the overheating applied upon hitting your limit, or upon the next after? (I.E. Can a genin use 4 plasma jutsu, and then wait, or are they overheated upon using the 4th jutsu)


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:3
Missions
[D Rank] 2 | [C Rank] 0 | [B Rank] 4 | [A Rank] 1 | [S Rank] 1 | [SS Rank] 0

4 Re: Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:40 pm

Issei

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Special Jounin
To add onto Nozomi's modding:

Plasma as an element itself has way too many advantages, especially since you’re already starting with four elements as a kekkei mora. No increased range, speed, and burns. Choose one of the three. The part about containers lacks proper punctuation because as it is now it does not make sense, so fix that as well, please :)


____

Opening ThemeBattle ThemeEnding Theme

Jutsu ListIssei MomochiInventory
[ Taijutsu: S ] • [ Ninjutsu: S ] • [ Fūinjutsu: A ] • [ Suiton: S ] • [ Katon: S ]
Missions Completed ▶▶ [ D:3 ] [ C:4 ] [ B:3 ] [ A:0 ] [ S:0 ]
http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

5 Re: Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:53 am

Julius V

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Genin
To Shiyuan:


1) Clan history is currently in progress. However, I wanted to work on the Kekeigenkai before it is completed in order to finish the clan in a timely manner.


2) Container as in if not released in a  certain shape. Perhaps the wording was too difficult, or more scientific than needed.


3) Clarified.


4) Working on it.


To Nozomi:


1) Members and History will be filled out with an explanation for the name change in the history. However, if it is no problem. I would like to finish the complicated part first which is Kekeigenkai.


2) Fixed it as you requested, each post a plasma jutsu is not used gives the user 2 more uses of plasma jutsu. Also, lowered the amount of Plasma Jutsu that can be used by 1 at all ranks.

3) Added a drawback, during overheat mode, ice techniques deal +2 damage.

4) Specified when overheating occurs.




To Issei:

1) The element has many advantages yes, however, due to its power, it also has a limited amount of times it can be used. As well as severe drawbacks affecting other elements and the user should this limit be reached. However, the range boost was a simple extra, and as such I removed the 5 meters range boost.


2) Yes, players do get four elements from the start, however, one of those is with limited usage, and might lockdown other elements. Having four elements, like many other clans is not countered by weakening the clan's element but limiting their ability to use specializations. In this case, the hesitant specialization cannot be taken, no learning third spec below Jounin, and no use of more than three specs.


3)  I would like to remain true to the clan's actual properties, and the atoms of Plasma move at an incredible pace, enough to knock protons out of their orbits in a violent and quick manner. Thus, the speed. It is also an element that is naturally very hot, thus, the burn damage.


Thank you all for your help I appreciate your time and effort. I would like for you to consider the drawbacks before the Positives, as they far-outweigh the positives. While the element is strong, its use is limited, can limit the use of other elements, and puts the user in incredible risk. I've toughened up the drawbacks from the amount of uses lowered by 1 at all ranks, to ice dealing more damage during overheating, to removing the extra 5 meters radius, to making the third specialization only learn-able at Jounin(A-Rank)


I also urge you to consider the nature of this element as while it is a very offensive element, it is heavily not defensive. No defensive techniques can be created or used by plasma below A-rank.


At this point I am beginning to believe the drawbacks far outweigh the positives, rendering this revamp pointless, and making a bad clan worse. 


I would love an overall look on how drawbacks can be lessened to not be an overly weakened clan, nor an overly buffed clan. Thank you very much.


____

Pleasant meeting you is, Guest.

6 Re: Suzuki Clan(Kaneko clan) on Sat Jun 10, 2017 4:05 pm

Issei

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Special Jounin
If you feel that your drawbacks outweigh your positives, let's look at them one by one, shall we?

Positives: Start with 3 of the 5 basic elements, with the choice of having either Suiton OR Futon, and Plasma. As such, it is a kekkei mora with additional versatility.
+ Speed in Plasma jutsu
+ Burns in Plasma jutsu
Resistant to burns (which are dealt by both Katon, Raiton, and most advanced elements that use those as constituents)
Strong against Ice jutsu

Negatives: To start, weakness to other advanced elements is what I like to call a "niche drawback". This is because they are not a general drawback to match a general advantage that the clan offers, and as such, it is only a drawback when in a very specific situation (i.e. when facing someone who can use Ice Release or Magnet Release). I consider niche drawbacks mostly unnecessary and most of the time I would prefer people get rid of them altogether. In this particular case, since you feel that your clan is now underpowered, you can feel free to get rid of all of the Ice-related drawbacks, including the one about overheating increasing damage from them, since those make less sense to me than the magnet one (especially when one of your advantages states that Plasma > Ice?).

Now, weakness to regular elements is more generalized and as such is an acceptable drawback, so your Conductor drawback is okay.

The inability to make plasma nature defensive techniques is also a "niche" drawback, in my opinion, because you could easily make a defensive technique with one of your other three elements before you get to A-Rank. The only advantage a Plasma technique could even offer that another elemental defensive technique could anyway is resistance to Ice techniques.

Elemental training is a necessary drawback to balance starting with 3 elements and an advanced element, HOWEVER it also allows you to train all of your elements to SS whereas anyone without an advanced element may only have a maximum of TWO elements at SS. This is not me asking you to change this, because all advanced element clans are like this. I'm simply asking you to consider the advantages you have over people outside of your clan.

Elementally-focused training is fine.

I think the overheating system is acceptable, if you feel it is too much of a drawback, you can up all the limits by one, because Nozomi asked you to either implement the harder reset or lower the limit, and you seem to have done both.

So. I hope this puts things into perspective; your negatives do not "far outweigh" the positives. In fact, this is barely getting to a place where it is balanced, in my opinion.

Julius V wrote:Thank you all for your help I appreciate your time and effort. I would like for you to consider the drawbacks before the Positives, as they far-outweigh the positives. While the element is strong, its use is limited, can limit the use of other elements, and puts the user in incredible risk. I've toughened up the drawbacks from the amount of uses lowered by 1 at all ranks, to ice dealing more damage during overheating, to removing the extra 5 meters radius, to making the third specialization only learn-able at Jounin(A-Rank)

I also urge you to consider the nature of this element as while it is a very offensive element, it is heavily not defensive. No defensive techniques can be created or used by plasma below A-rank.

Consider what Nozomi said: "The plasma overheating drawback is very easily avoided, as it’s a simple matter to utilize other jutsu for a post". So, it can only limit the use of other elements if it is overused, and it only puts the user in incredible risk if they're facing a member of the Aisu clan. Doesn't that seem easily avoided?

Also, why do you need to make defensive plasma techniques anyway? You have three other elements and a lot of versatility in your jutsu as a result. Using a defensive plasma technique seems like a waste that only puts you closer to your limit.

Finally:
Julius V wrote:"The user can user will be reduce the plasma jutsu count by 2."
Fix this.

TL;DR

- Due to the logic behind what plasma is and how it works, I'll allow you to keep the boosted speed and more severe burns.

- Get rid of all ice-related drawbacks. You can keep Plasma being strong against ice.

- I don't think plasma being unable to make defensive jutsu below A-Rank is a big deal. Sorry. Feel free to keep it as a drawback or replace it with something else if you'd like, but I'd just leave it as is.

- Add one to each of the limits before overheating.

- Fix the typo in the part about reducing plasma count.

Bump when your edits are made, no need to post in the modding requests. I'm watching this thread like a hawk, and trying to help you get it approved. :)


____

Opening ThemeBattle ThemeEnding Theme

Jutsu ListIssei MomochiInventory
[ Taijutsu: S ] • [ Ninjutsu: S ] • [ Fūinjutsu: A ] • [ Suiton: S ] • [ Katon: S ]
Missions Completed ▶▶ [ D:3 ] [ C:4 ] [ B:3 ] [ A:0 ] [ S:0 ]
http://www.narutosaga.com/t23427-new-organization-ninshiki#18669

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